


Five Years Since Yesterday

by Swanne



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers - Freeform, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Character Death, Character Study, F/M, Funeral, Gen, Grief, Multi, Parallels, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), So Much Grief, So much angst, but it's the funeral, but marvel let the story open, so i'm stitching it the end, this is not a Band of Horses song, wandavision - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 10:54:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18690064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swanne/pseuds/Swanne
Summary: Grief is a lonely and not pretty thing, yet we live with it.because it's the only thing left.





	Five Years Since Yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> Endgame spoilers, good movie, but I think that they forgot to end satisfactorily one plot thread that it was created in Avengers: Age of Ultron and to set it up properly Wandavision. So this is my attempt to do it.
> 
> It's a character study about grief, so be warned.

She tried to remember all the things that frightened her, from the childish fears, of monsters under the bed and witches that would snatch her or her brother in the middle of night, to those who came very early to a child, the bombs that came from the sky, losing her parents, her house and the fears that became her life, her powers, losing her brother, losing her home, losing Vizh. The fears were gone now, she hadn’t felt when she disappeared, nor when she was back in on the battlefield. What would she have to fear? She had nothing left to lose. She was no longer even sure, if the Avengers still existed, Stark was dead, Steve had retired, Natasha sacrificed herself. They even lost the compound, Clint offered that she could stay on his farm as long as she wanted it. She was numbed even to know what she wanted, no, this was wrong, she knew exactly what she wanted it, but she couldn’t have it, this was her life after all, always waiting for the bomb to exploded it, it took more than fifteen years,  but it exploded, now she was alone with nothing.

She was alone with nothing at Tony's Stark funeral, a few years ago she would be relieved, Pietro would laugh, but now, she was just wondering how this house looked nothing like what she expected from a Stark, the house looked like a home, not a technological bungalow, it was cozy with the decoration, the photos. She had been to many funerals to know that it was impolite not to give condolences to the family, but she doubted that there was some etiquette code to what to do in the funeral of someone that you grow despising it, then became a work acquaintance, saved the world killing the only person you wanted to kill and help create the love of your life.  Vision would know what to say. Vision would be devastated, would grieve. She should had been here with him, not alone. Pepper Potts were talking with Ross, Clint and Laura were next, so she just kept walking in the corners of the room. And then she felt someone watching her. She searched the room, everyone was talking to each other in small groups, but when her attention turned to the corridor at the end of the room, she saw a small pair of brown eyes staring straight at her. The door to the kitchen was wide-open and the little girl was sitting on the counter, Wanda gave her a little smile, the girl didn’t smile back, but made a gesture as if she was calling her to the kitchen.

Wanda waited a moment, thinking about the rudeness of walking straight into the kitchen of a stranger, it would be easier but ruder to just ignore the child. So, she walked.

* * *

 

"Who are you talking to, darling?" Wanda was already in the door, when she saw and heard that the little girl wasn’t alone, of course she would not be alone, by her side, was one of Stark's friends or employees. They were eating some hamburgers, He hadn’t seen Wanda there yet.

“I was calling her.” The girl answered the big guy, pointing at her. Wanda stood in the doorway not knowing how to react.

Wanda made a small nod to the man, he looked as surprised as she was, he shifted uncomfortably in his chair, it was clear that Wanda wasn’t welcomed to the scene, but he also nodded to her. The little girl seemed oblivious to the awkwardness of it all.

"Hi" It was the only thing that Wanda could say.

"Hi, my name is Morgan, this is Hogan." the girl answered with a smile, but just never reached her eyes. She offered Wanda her small hand such an adult gesture for a child.

Wanda entered the kitchen, and shake the little hand, by the corner of her eye, she saw Hogan enter an even more defensive position. Morgan’s hand was warmer that she expected.

“Hi, Morgan, I’m Wanda.”

"I know who you are." The girl interrupted her, and Wanda lose it the grip before the kid.

“What?” She blinked.

"I know who you are." Morgan repeated a little louder as if Wanda didn’t hear the first time.

"She knows all the ... Avengers" Hogan explained.

Wanda didn’t know what to say, she was not going to ask how she was, she tried to change the subject.

“How’s the food?”

"Burgers are my favorite, my dad loves them too." Morgan said between bites, Hogan swallowed hard. Wanda just stared “Do you want some?” the girl ended.

“No, burgers are great, but I’m full. “Wanda said tapping her fingers softly against the counter. “My dad wasn’t a fan, he preferred ciorba de burtă.” Wanda didn’t know what had made her keep talking, but she did anyway.

“What is that?” Morgan asked with a little sparkle of curiosity in her eyes.

“It’s kind of a soup made with ...guts.”  Wanda saw Morgan and Hogan faces change in a disgusted faces. “It’s wasn’t my favorite, but it’s good, I prefer mamaliga, it’s porridge.” It was a little white lie, it wasn’t her favorite food, but it worked, Morgan started repeating the word to herself, she had like the word.

 “What was Vision's favorite food? The little smile in Wanda’s face disappeared.

“Ah...it’s ... he... doesn’t need to eat.” Wanda swallowed hard. “but... he... liked paprikash and pizza.” She crossed her arms.

“I like pizza too.” Morgan replied cheerfully.

She just wanted to get out of there. Morgan made a gesture to Wanda get closer, Wanda leaned down a little to stay in the same eyesight of the kid.

“Are you really a witch?” Morgan asked in Wanda’s ear cupping her mouth with her little hands.

Morgan waited the answer, little big dark eyes with so much anticipation.

The simple word no danced in Wanda’s mouth, she could tell the scientific explanation, that she herself didn’t understand very well to a five years old child or the simple one, she had powers, but witches didn’t exist, well, she remember knowing that in the battle, the doctor and other people were called sorcerers, so maybe they existed.

“I don’t know, maybe. Do I look like one?” Wanda answered mimicking Morgan’s action.

“You look like a good witch.”  Morgan answered quietly. For some reason, the girl didn’t want Hogan to hear that part of the conversation. “Do you know a genie? Or make wishes?”

Wanda just nodded no.

“I have a wish.” Morgan explained disappointedly.

“I know” Wanda understood too much.

"What are you two talking about?" Hogan spoke in an amusing way, but with a worried undertone.

"We were discussing our favorite colors. Mine is red." Wanda answered standing up.

“Mine is green, but now I like red and yellow too.” Morgan replied, sharing a look with Wanda.

“They are all beautiful colors.”  Pepper said, she was leaned in the doorway. Wanda turned to look at her, not recognizing the voice.  She had a tired face. She walked to Morgan and kissed the top of the head of her daughter. Wanda was uncomfortable again, it was a private moment of the family, she was already prepared to leave the kitchen when the woman spoke again. 

“Honey, Nathaniel and Lyla are playing in the garden, it looks like really fun, don’t you want to play with them?”

Morgan nodded, Pepper gave a look to Hogan, the little girl and the man stand up, but before the girl left the kitchen, she hugged Wanda.

“Bye, red witch.” Morgan whispered.

“Bye, Morgan. If I find one, I’ll tell them your wish.” Wanda hugged the little girl back.

The girl left, as Hogan, but Pepper was still in the kitchen and before Wanda could left, stood in front of her.

* * *

 

“Sorry for your loss.” Sounded empty and meaningless as she thought would be, but at least she said it.

“Thank you.” The other woman replied quickly, she must have heard it more than a thousand times just today. But she still didn’t move, and Wanda noticed the folder that she was holding it.

“You are good with kids.” Pepper said, looking at the corridor, but Morgan wasn’t there anymore.

Wanda wanted a family, she liked children, but she didn’t know if she was good with children, she never had much time to spend with them. “I don’t think so, I just lost a lot of people in my life”.

Pepper walked to the other side of the counter, putting the folder above it.

“But it’s really smart, make her tired. Me and Pietro, when we lost our parents, we were in the hospital, but people let us run in the corridors and watch so much TV.”   Wanda said sitting in the other side. Remembering the old cartoons and sitcoms in black in white.  “Before 8pm, we were already sleeping.”

“You remember the time? When I lost mine, I was already old enough to drink.  The only thing that I remember is crying myself to sleep.” Pepper commented sincerely, taking a glass of water.

“Yeah, I remembered, because it was the only thing that I wanted to do since I woke up, because I believed that after I did go to sleep, I would wake up and discovered that It had been a nightmare, that it wasn’t real.”   Wanda thought to herself that time passed, but this still was one of her wishes, that this was a nightmare, when she looked to Pepper, she saw in her blue eyes, that she was thinking the same thing, but she just finished her glass of water.

“This is for you.” Pepper handle her the folder. Wanda must have muttered something because Pepper tried to explain. “Tony left to you, it has a message.” she completed.

“No, I don’t want it.” Wanda was surprised enough to any other reaction to show up, she couldn’t process Tony Stark leaving something to her, maybe a bomb, but he must have been busier with time travel to think about this.

Pepper took a deep breath before talking again.

“Just listen, I don’t know what is in here, but I think it’s important and I think is bigger that anything that you had against my husband in the past. You can listen in the office for privacy.” Pepper handle her the folder again.

Wanda thought about the etiquette again, to speak to the widow, that you also had something against her too, since she was an assistant to those who sold the guns that killed your parents, it wasn’t really appropriated, but Wanda wasn’t self-righteous, she knew that she had unknowingly helped Hydra and Ultron, but she didn’t know at the time, but Pepper always knew what Stark was doing it. So, she just said nothing, she just left.

“I see.” Pepper took the folder again and stood up.

Wanda was already in the corridor, when she heard Pepper again.

“He would want you to hear it.”

Now, it was Wanda that took the deep breath, and she understood how that woman could control an entire company, she knew what tickle people.

“Which one is the office?” She asked.

“The second one in the right.”

* * *

 

She stood there in the corner, watching Pepper prepare the details to play the message. Wanda soon noticed that this must be Pepper's Office, it was simple and tasteful, more business woman than mad scientist. Just the table, work chair, bookshelf and two arm chairs in the other side.

“When you are ready, just push this button.” Pepper said giving a little control in her hand. “I will be back after some minutes, I have to talk to other people.”

Wanda waited some seconds after hearing the door closing, to push the button.

A hologram of Tony Stark appeared in the middle of the room, some feet away of her.

“You must find this very strange, so to be in the same page, I also think this is weird. This is our what? Third conversation, and if you are listening this, something terrible happened to me, but we did it, what the avengers were made to do, and you as a fellow avenger must be relieve with this part, let’s be frank, you must be even a little happy with the first part too.”

 It was a voice of a dead man, Wanda was just intrigued why he would make this, mocking her anger against him, just because she couldn’t do anything anymore.

He acted like he was fidgeting against some surface, maybe a table that didn’t show up in the hologram.

“I never had a sibling, well that I know of, Rhodey, it was in my life so much that I considered him like one. I have a daughter, now. If you met her, heads up, she thinks that you are a witch, she has the name of one, it gave me street credit with her to let her know that I knew/fought a witch...” 

The hologram was looking to the floor. 

“I lost my parents, I was older than you, but when I discovered it who did it, I tried to kill the guy who was used to do it, I’m doing it one of these to him too...he couldn’t control it ... but I knew what we were selling, and how they would be used it.  A horrible fact that I discovered it, the missiles that hit your and Pietro’s home were older ones, if they were newer ones, they would have exploded it. What I am saying, is I understand that you happy that I am gone, If I was you, I would be too.”

Was she happy because he was dead?  She couldn’t say it,  she had animosity with him,  when she was ready to  move on of the vengeance against him, he put her in house arrest, in the raft and  made  her spend the last two years running , no, not the last two years, its already been five years ago, but now  the only thing that she could think that other little girl would grow up without her dad,  and if she is here now, it was because of his sacrifice, this should be count as a good thing, but in her gut, she felt resentment, she was back, but back to what? It’s wasn’t about her, this was about the other billions of people that got a new chance, she tried to fix this idea in her brain.

“I should said thank you to you, you warned me in your own way about the dangers, you know.” He made a gesture mimicking her hand movements close to his head. “I was trying to protect the earth, and I failed so many times even with your warning, it was nothing personal, but in Lagos, well, you power can be really dangerous, I just wanted to protect as much people as I could. This is still can fail, but if I am dead, and you are listening to this.” He shrugged. “This is the longer conversation that we had, and we are not even seeing each other”

 He wasn’t wrong, Lagos still haunts her mind. The irony wasn’t lost on her, that the family of the people in that building maybe seen her as she had seen Tony Stark. She was just trying to protect people, so people could finish a peaceful dinner, that she never did. She and Vision were trying to deal with the guilty of what the wrong use of power made they do. She with Lagos, him with Rhodey. She had to learn to this alone now.

“Talking about seeing, we should talk about Vision. Yes, I knew that you were seeing each other, I think anyone with eyes saw too, Pepper find you both cute with the Romeo and Juliet vibes, but I never liked the end of the story. If everything goes correctly, you both are listening this, before we send the stone back, we recreate your creation Vision, now you will have two birthdays.” 

Wanda walked to the folder in the table and open it, she didn’t had to read much, to see that it was a plan to try to recreate Vision,  nothing worked, the stone was destroyed, and  was already back in the past, she stopped when the tears started to stain the paper, it  had other stuff that she think were the  digital data part of the plan. She was now facing away from the hologram. She hated it that in that moment she hated Steve because he took the stone back, that she hated that everyone had people back, but she didn’t. She hated that she felt like that, but she felt anyway.

“Wanda, I allowed it “The hologram continued, her name being mentioned bringing her attention back to it. “as a  type of a  father, paternal, friend  figure of the groom/ boyfriend,  I allowed it, I think Steve  also allowed it, you guys are like  the first couple of  Avengers, if I still alive and  Vision hacked the wi-fi and found this, this is a proto-version of the  speech that I will make in the ceremony,  Wanda, you are going to hate it , but this is part of it... but if I’m dead... I have a great suggestion for the flower girl... she is adorable.”

“Vision, the voice that accompanied me all these years that I tried to be a hero is literally in you, became a hero in his own right, and Wanda, I’m sorry, I know this should be the first thing that I should had said it to you., so I don’t want you to see this as a bribe, but  me trying to help with what I can, I helped destroyed you life once, let me help a little to rebuild it. Also, I left a wedding gift in advance for you both. Just be happy and protect the earth.” Tony finished, and the hologram disappeared it.

Wanda sat in  one of the arm chairs, she tried to stop crying, she looked the rest of the things in the folder,  some stuff looked like flash drives, one it’s was labeled  “J.A.R.V.I.S best moments” and she found the gift that Tony talked about it , one mockup check with a lot of zeros, in her name, Wanda Maximoff or Wanda Vision which one you preferred it, it was write as an observation.  Wanda gave a little smile. Tony thought a lot more about the future that both of them.

* * *

 

She was holding the folder against her chest when Pepper entered the room again.

“Are you okay?” Pepper asked softly.

“No, but it was me that should be asking you that.”  Wanda replied.

“If someone asks me this again...  I think I'll start telling the truth.” Pepper sat in the other arm chair. Wanda looked the other women by the corner of the eye, she seemed tired.

“What you are thinking about now?” Wanda offered a different question.

“That I will have to reform this place because I will work so much more from here, now that Tony is not here to stay with Morgan.” Pepper spoke looking around the room.

Wanda was surprised with the sincerity, Pepper raised a brow to her, and Wanda noticed that she wanted Wanda’s answer.

“I am thinking how different and equal you and Stark are.” Wanda quipped.

The women just sat in silence for a moment, when the strangeness of the situation hit Wanda, the two were practically strangers, but the silence itself didn’t feel awkward neither the conversation, she remember reading somewhere that  talking with strangers about grief sometimes feels easy then talking to close people, she didn’t believe it, but maybe she was being this stranger to Pepper.

“When I was in the door, I heard the last part of the message, for a second, I pretend that he was still here. Sorry for the eavesdropping.” Pepper continued.

“No problem, it’s your office, anyway.” Wanda replied, getting in a more convenient position in the chair. “Do you really think that we are cute? Me and Vizh?”

Pepper chuckled softly.

“Yeah, it was a shock when I was back to a trip and Tony said that Jarvis wasn’t here anymore, but Vision were a great guy, he stuttered when he talked about you to me, Jarvis never did that.” Pepper also shifted in her chair.

“But he always calls you, Mrs. Potts, called.” Wanda corrected herself. “it’s been five years since yesterday. This will never get in my head.” She ended, something was stuck in her throat.

“The five years don’t matter, to you, you lost him yesterday.” Pepper completed.

“Like you, but the five years did matter in your case.” Wanda said.

“It really matters, the five years is jumping in the garden right now.”  Pepper looked by the window, Wanda follow her eyes, they couldn’t see Morgan, it was almost night, but Wanda still felt a bit of envy, at least Pepper and Tony had five years, most people didn’t.

“I just hope she doesn’t get some stuff from her father.” Pepper was looking back to Wanda, she could see a little of worry in her eyes. “Like his talent to cook, or lack of.”

 Wanda noticed, it was an attempt at joke.

“Vision wasn’t so good in the kitchen, either.”

“See? This was all Tony.  Before we started dating, he made me an omelet, that I thought, or he likes me because he tried or that he hated me and was trying to poison me.”

Wanda laugh at loud.

“Vision made me a paprikash, or at least that's what I thought it was, it was a work in progress.”

“Here it was also a work in progress, Tony did it the dishes “

Both women shared a smile.

* * *

 

“I think I've taken a lot of your time, I think it’s time to go.” Wanda started to get up.

“No, I gave other message to Barnes, I am waiting him to finish it, he is in Tony’s Office.” Pepper explained it.

“Did he tell you what happened to Steve?” Wanda asked.

“Yes, he and Sam told me why he left the funeral earlier.” Pepper stretched once again in the chair.

Wanda studied her face, and then she gets it. Wanda clenched her hands against the chair ‘s arms, maybe the other women need to hear it, maybe Wanda need to say it.

“It’s normal, well at least I felt it too when I discovered it.” Wanda spoken softly.

Pepper looked in her eyes “So don’t you think that we are bad people?”

Wanda just nodded no.

“Good, because I just wanted to hit the old man when I discovered it.” Pepper sighed in relief.

“Me too, my boyfriend was indestructible...” Wanda started.

“My husband was a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist and yet...” Pepper interrupted.

“And yet the only one, that had a whole life of happiness it was the man from the past.” Wanda ended.  A bitter taste in her mouth, it wasn’t fair with Steve, but it was how she felt it.

“And he came back right after the funeral, I felt like he was rubbing his happy life in my face.”  Pepper’s voice was bitter too.

“You know if I knew it was an option, I would had gone back in time too and live all my life.” Wanda pondered.

“Yes, the past it was horrible, but if I could you know live with Tony without worries, like a 50’s sitcom, I love Tony, just me and Morgan living with the hijinks of what he had invented it.” Pepper told the whimsical idea with a sad smile.

Wanda imagined the scene, but with her and Vision, they would never be a normal couple, but she tried to imagine them living in a normal house, him with his sweaters, her with the red dress, without running, just living. Damned it that it didn’t felt normal, it felt better, it felt right.

“Yeah would be good, we could be neighbors, in my case would be called I....”  Wanda stopped it, the little smiled disappearing when she noticed it.

Pepper looked curiously at her.

“I never said to him.” Wanda just noticed that she was crying when she felt the tears in her cheeks. “It was the last thing he told me, but I didn’t say it back, I wanted it but if I had said, I would not have been able to destroy the stone.”

“He knows.” Pepper held her hand., Wanda noticed the other women ‘s eyes were teary too.

“I had to lie to Tony, I wanted him to go in peace, but I don’t know if me and Morgan are going to be okay.”

Wanda hugged Pepper.

 “What are you going to do now?” Pepper asked when the two got up.

“I have to try” She lifted the folder again “I'll show it to Shuri, this and everything that she did five years ago, perhaps, it’s a chance of bringing him back.”

“What if it doesn’t work?” Pepper simply asked.

“I’ll try again.”

Pepper blinked slowly, and a little smile came to her lips, opening the door.

“I know that you going to hate it to listen to this, but you and Tony had more in common than you thought.”

Maybe, was the only thing that Wanda thought it leaving the room.

“Wanda...wait. If this work, do you and Vision want to come to dinner with me and Morgan someday?”

“Yes, this would be nice.” Wanda answered.

“You can come to dinner before he’s back too”

Wanda just smiled and closed the door.

She was alone in the corridor, she looked to the living room, someone people already left. She was terrified, but hopeful, if this didn’t work, she was alone. If the price of having this chance, was fear, well, she learned to live with fear all her life, it was hope that she was still learning to deal with it. She had to find Shuri.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any mistake or typo.


End file.
